slo-mo-sapien
What Do You See? By: Laura Shavkey
What do you see when you look at me?
Can you see the tears I have cried in the past?
Can you see the pain I hide behind this broken smile?
Can you see the abuse, neglect, and self harm?
Can you see the many times that I have beaten myself up over being me?
What do you see when you look at me?
I bet you see a girl who has the perfect life.
I bet you see a girl who has everything.
I bet you see a girl who has the world in the palm of her hands.
Do you see a girl who is happy everyday of her life?
What do you see when you look at me?
Can you see the tears I’ve cried?
Can you see my pain?
What do you see when you look at me?
I need to know…
Because I know you don’t see me.
Just a few photos from my trip to DC and NYC!
Sometimes the darkness wins, other times we’re so blinded by the darkness that we forfeit.
-Me
Bully By: Laura Shavkey
Everyone has been the bully.
Whether you are the one that actually spoke the words,
Or if you just stood back and watched…and laughed.
I’ve been the bully.
Few will admit that.
I have laughed when people were being insulted,
And I’ve done some insulting myself.
But I’ve also been bullied,
By some of you sitting in front of me today,
And some of you possibly now,
Or even in the future.
I know I will always be bullied.
Just like I will always be the bully.
Whether involuntary,
Or purposefully.
I could use my social anxiety as an excuse,
For not standing up for the bullied.
I could use my depression to defend me,
“I didn’t mean it.” “They said something first”
I have fallen victim many times,
But I’m also the cause of others falling victimized.
So I apologize,
Right now,
In front of you,
For being the bully.
Dear… By Laura Shavkey
Dear mom,
I am sorry I am never enough.
I’m sorry my grades suck,
I’m sorry that everything I do is wrong,
And I’m sorry that I make mistakes.
Dear Marshall,
I am sorry I can no longer consider you my father.
I’m sorry that I couldn’t figure out what I did wrong to make you hate me,
I’m sorry that I can no longer see you,
And I’m sorry that you are the reason I break down everyday.
Dear dad,
I am sorry for taking you for granted.
I’m sorry that I am hateful at times,
I’m sorry that I’m imperfect,
And I’m sorry that I make you feel like you have to earn my love.
Dear everyone,
I am sorry for hiding who I really am.
I am so sorry for being annoying,
Ugly,
Fat, and
Not enough.
To the world,
I am sorry I have to torture you with my awful presence.
I’m sorry that my “verse” will not be worth writing.
I’m sorry that everyday I would rather leave than be with you.
I am so sorry.
I don’t understand why I believed you when you promised me forever.